When I look at someone who marches into the party, talking loud and slapping people's backs, I tend to move back to the wall and prefer to watch in silence. Over-confident humans tend to bring this kind of a reaction in me. How's that with you?
I am sure you'd share my tendency or have your own way of dealing with the intrusion. Intrusion? Yes, over-confidence is an intrusion of sorts and so is confidence in some cases. And why's that? Because not being confident is just a natural way for humans.
What's exactly meant by this confidence word that we tend to use so often?
Confidence is, being sure that the act a human is going to perform in the next moment would be RIGHT, would hit the bull's eye.
Some people always look very confident. But are they all actually, inside them? May be not! And you know that. Most of the people who are confident and over-confident, are only posing to be so. Can you believe it? I read somewhere, that according to psychology, those who behave overtly confident are those who secretly nurse a low opinion about themselves!
And the rest of them are honestly confident people.
We could look deep into the phoney ones and games they play... but another time. For now, let us look at the 5 best tricks that could help your journey towards transforming into an honestly confident human being.
To BE CONFIDENT, DO CONFIDENT. I know the grammar part sucks but that line is of immense value. When you light a candle, you could do it with a lot of doubt in your heart. What if the wind blows? Shouldn't I be more careful not to throw the match stick and burn the whole place down? Etc. But you could simply shove the doubt out of the door and strike the match to light the candle with the move of a swift magician on the stage. Most of the times we do things doubtfully but don't even know that. The trick is, even if you are doubtful, just do it with confidence. The secret is that each such act will strengthen something very basic inside you and make your other moves too, confident even without your knowledge.
PRACTICE is a SYNONYM for CONFIDENCE. Where it is possible for you to practice before doing some act, practice.
Question: What is practice?
Answer: Doing something over and over again.
What happens when you do the same thing over and over again? First thing, you'd get bored :) And then? And then, either boredom will win or you will win over boredom. For people who won over boredom and still did the same thing over and over again, life opened unimaginable rainbows. Meaning to say, abundance would flow into your life. Yes. This is the secret that even the book 'Secret' won't tell you :)
Question: When you are not confident with something, what does it actually mean?
Answer: It means that half of your heart is expecting you to screw up. Pardon my language, please :)
Now, do you think all of those super confident looking CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, Actors of Hollywood and the rest don't half expect themselves to screw up (PMLP) in everything they do? The answer is, they are as shaky as we are most of the times in most of their acts. But they are absolutely unshaken when the act they are performing or the decision they are making relates to their area of expertise. An expert is confident. And all are not experts at everything. Meaning that nobody is confident always, in all situations.
Confidence comes with expertise. Those who are honestly confident, are humans who honestly know that they are not confident in a few things and yet they choose to accept it and act in spite of it.
Spontaneity resides above confidence.
Question: What is the difference between Spontaneity and Confidence?
Answer: A person who lives in the moment is spontaneous. A person who is confident, analyses the past, projects it into the future and expects success.
A spontaneous human simply does something with totality without the mind's interference that naturally brings the dimension of past and future into the act. He just does the act as if like it's a natural reaction, a flow of energy.
Question: How to be spontaneous?
Answer: Again, by practice. Practicing meditation everyday is one beautiful way to strengthen the dimension of spontaneity inside you.
TRICK THE MIND. In reality, confidence or lack of it is just a mind's game. If the mind thinks that you can do something, you look confident. If it thinks otherwise, you look, well you know like what. But the secret is that the mind can be MADE to believe what you want it to believe. Well, is it so naive? Shrug, I believe it's so :)
So, by straight logic, wearing a smile, wearing the right expression, wearing a clean and sparkling outfit, getting done a hundred dollar hair do, practicing a few cool moves perhaps with playing cards, intoning 'cool' phrases that confident dudes keep throwing around, talking damn positive sounding words about yourself and so on could do the trick for you. Really.
Hope these tricks would give you enough confidence, to think confidently that you could surely be a confident person :)
Thanks for reading.
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